My late Grandma was right

ndc-nppMy late grandmother, Nana Yaa Abuakwaa used to tell me that, in most instances people pick up characters of things they are named after, and a staggering revelation I stumbled upon sometime ago about the elephant and the behaviour of yaanom seems to lend credence to this belief.

And I am not surprised that a leading member of yaanom’s party could come out to say that blood will flow if this year’s elections do not go their way. Also worryingly is another statement by their campaign manager that they are going to declare their own election results. Even more shocking is the fact that the Peace Council and the Wisemen of the land are extremely reticent about these disturbing comments.

I am going to bring to light why yaanom behave irrationally: and I am going to do that with microscopic diligence and undeviating exactitude.

Elephants are very interesting. They are the largest of all land mammals and have a lifespan of 70 years; and can smell water three miles away. One other fascinating characteristic of the elephant is its grieving. The mother elephant has been observed to mourn the loss of a deceased child. The mourning ritual involves the mother, slumped in stature, trying to revive her child, seemingly in denial of the death. In other cases, elephants have been known to mourn a loved one for years after its death.

In some observations, every time an elephant walked past the place that a fellow herd member died, the elephant would pause for several minutes and even investigate the remaining bones. They never forget oo. Agyeeiiii, is it the reason why they are still mourning and ranting long after their defeats in the 2008 and 2012 elections?

Elephants spend 16 hours eating, and they consume 495 pounds of food a day. It has been observed that people who are associated with the elephant have insatiable appetite too. They chop waa waa waa, and would go to any length to satisfy their appetite including looting government bungalows, selling drill ships and looting their own treasury. You can give your own examples oo, I don’t want any trouble.

Elephants show excitement in interesting ways: when excited or angry, the elephant will release an oily material by name musth which is produced by a gland between the ear and the eye. The word “musth” also means madness, and usually when the substance is released, the elephant is in a dangerous state.

Hmmm boi, no be me dey talk oo, the elephant can easily activate the all-die-be-die and womafunu mode and assault the pillars of power. They could be as lawless as going against the constitution of the country to declare their own election results.. Kai, did you see the meaning of musth? Eiwooo, madness paa, please nobody should mention Dompim Butcher, Mintumi and Max Kofi something, something oo. I don’t want any wahala.

Elephants use trunk-slaps, kicks and shoves to discipline obstinate family members; yaanom have decided to move a notch higher in the way they discipline themselves by acid bathing and stabbing recalcitrant members.

The elephant is herbivorous, meaning, it lives on herbs. Chai, does this explains why some of the followers of the elephant live on herbs? Oh hoo, who whispered “thick smoke”? Na thick smoke be herb? Please I don’t like that. Kikikikikiki, na this be hard fact oo. Abi, this one na be food for thought papa.

My late grandma was absolutely right in her belief that people pick characters of things they are named after.


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