Eishh, friends, matter come. I just returned from Bolgatanga. I promised you the “Akokofunu” story this week, but there is this flesh, flesh story I can’t overlook. Oops, sorry. I meant “fresh”. Please forgive me; I have a little problem with my “L” and “R”. Before I break the news, I would kindly like to crave your indulgence to allow me to recycle a joke I have used a couple of times. It very well fits into this breaking news.
Somewhere in the 70’s, there was a popular highlife tune by AB Crentsil called “Atia”. I must say “Atia” is undisputedly an all-time hit. The lyrics of the song made fun of our brothers and sisters from the north. AB Crentsil in the song, narrated the story of a young man, by name Atia who travelled from Bolga to Kumasi to seek greener pastures, but instead of him sticking to dog meat and pito which are favourites of our friends in the north, drank akpeteshie to death.
Now, the people of the north were irked by AB’s song and decided to teach him some lessons. AB was on a nation-wide musical tour, and the people of Bolga waited patiently till it got to their turn; and the organizers had a windfall – the place was fully packed. Uncle AB played songs upon songs without paying “Atia” because an informant had hinted him that the people had planned to beat him up if he played that tune.
The show was coming to an end and still “Atia” had not been played. AB handed his microphone over to one of his boys to continue with the show while he took a rest backstage. An angry youth approached him and whispered to him in imperfect twi, “AB, whether you play Atia or not, ye be fiiwo.”
The case of “Atia” is not different from what is happening in Bolgatanga right now. There is fire on the mountain and Opana is damn hot. Not too long ago, Opana during his tour in the Central Region, promised to build a factory each in every district if he becomes president, which some people believe it is a ploy to deceive Ghanaians. Their worry is that factory-building has never being a priority of yaanom. They did not build a single factory in their eight-year term in office.
Someone even said that Opana in his 12 years as MP could not even lobby for potable water for his constituency, and therefore, cannot develop the entire country as president.
Chai, people have been talking papa. Somebody also mentioned that people should “mind” Opana, and that President Mahama is already establishing factories to create more jobs. Example cited are fertilizer factory at Shama, Ceramics and Tiles factory in the Western Region, Kumasi Shoe factory, Savanna Cement factory, Shea nut processing factory, GHC51 million support for Pharmaceuticals manufacturers, Komenda Sugar Factory and Fish Processing Factory in Elmina, just to mention a few.
According to the person, some districts like KEEA already have two factories – the Komenda Sugar Factory and the Elmina Fish Processing Factory : and this spurns the one district; one factory proposition of Opana.
Ghanaians can speculate oo. They can speculate papa. Some people are even saying that they suspect Opana is going to build an acid factory in each district in the northern zone, a cutlass factory in each district of the middle zone and a coke factory in each district of the southern zone. I mentioned coke, please don’t get me wrong.
The major problem, however, has to do with news going viral on social media that like the Elmina Fish Processing Factory, Opana is planning to build a dog meat processing factory in Bolgatanga. So, the people of Bolgatanga are crabby; they think yaanom are making fun of them. I had to rush to Bolga to cool tempers. I told them it is not true that such a factory is going to be built in Bolga, and that even if it is true I will lobby for the factory to be sent to Kibi since dog meat is a delicacy of the akyem people too.
Kikikikikiki, do you know the response I had? They said: “Whether it is true or not, ye be fii Opana on November 7. I told myself; when it is coming, it is doing.